but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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