I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
