i was rollin on her like bob the builder
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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