Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize