I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
