i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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