38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
