He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
This is my gift to your gina
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
