I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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