im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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