Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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