He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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