addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
