We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
