The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
PANTIES FOUND
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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