Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
