Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize