I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
