it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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