..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
