So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
