4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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