so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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