He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
