Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
