She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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