Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
