my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.