It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."