Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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