I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
