you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
