....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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