Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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