dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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