we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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