I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You are the jesus of drinking
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
