ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
