Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
