did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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