we're blogging at a bar
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
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