I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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