His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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