He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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