it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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