Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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