I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
