I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
