the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
