I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
