you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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