Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
