Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
