So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The air was thick with penises
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
