Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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