No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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