she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
