i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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