she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
