idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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