Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
