can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
